Two things.

For most people, asking “why do you talk so little?” is not a slap in the face, it is an attempt at inclusion. It gets interpreted as a slap in the face. As such, your example is not right.

Secondly, when we expect people to take our autistic sensibilities into account, I think it is entirely fair to take their sensibilities into account as well. Most people do not rub autistic people the wrong way on purpose. We do not rub them the wrong way on purpose. Yet it makes sense for both parties to take the other parties sensibilities into account. Since one can only control oneself, one should start this behavior with oneself.