Ive never been a woman, so I cant speak with authority here, but I think I’d like instructions about my moods like that.

“This is literally as unhappy as you’ll be this whole month, nows the time for that emergency ice cream.”

“You wont get hornier than this, if you feel like you owe your partner one, this is the best shot”

“This is the happiest day of your year. Buckle up champ its all downhill from here”