At first it wasn’t great because I was having heart palpitations and crying spells. I lowered my dose to a quarter of a tablet and I don’t think it did much except increase my heart rate. I would go for a light walk and my HR would be around 140-150. My sleep has also been terrible but I think that’s because I’ve been waking up early and finding it hard to sleep at night at a decent time.

I will be upping my dose today, potentially of the clonidine too, because that’s not doing anything either. Having a call with the psychiatrist on Tuesday and he might prescribe me non-stimulants, which are exorbitantly priced. I’ve wasted so much money on meds over the past few years that haven’t done anything or made the situation worse, so hopefully we’ll get to a good point. I’m thinking of trying skills over pills (e.g. time and stress management, using discipline over motivation).

I have a fear of failure, to the point where I enter a freeze response, and end up failing. I think that’s the cause of my problems, and if I challenge the excuses that my brain makes and power through, I should be fine.