Comment on Anon goes home
slaacaa@lemmy.world 4 days ago
I’m in the second half of my 30s now. I own the house I grew up in, it’s in bad shape, actually about to have it renovated it now. I live and work in a different country for a few years now, making a lot of money, but I dearly miss home. The street, the trees, all the memories of my childhood. It’s in the nice suburbs of an Eastern EU capital, so it has developed/gentrified well, with modern services and stores not far. My father is dead, my mother lives 3 streets from this house, which is also great.
Wife and I are actually considering moving back in a few years, after the renovation is finished. Some things feel priceless - to think we could raise a family in the same house in the same neighbourhood, have our children ride their bike under the same trees, next to the same small stream. None of this would of course be worth it, if you couldn’t make a living there, so we are in a lucky situation, and I understand many are not.
Still, I wonder if this is just some nostalgia for easier times, and if it makes sense to “throw away” a safe life in Western EU that many from this country would kill for, chasing a feeling like this. On the other hand, I think people spend their whole life trying to feel loved, successful and happy, so what else is really there? We can have all the rational components like health, safety and money in place, yet still feel unfulfilled inside.
If we are lucky to live to an old age, we’ll look back on our life to search for meaning and reflect on our choices, what will make the biggest difference? I honestly don’t know
grrgyle@slrpnk.net 4 days ago
It sounds like you’re comfortable enough to be debt free, but still chasing after something more, despite already having it right there in your backyard.
I don’t think you realize how little money you need in order to have a fulfilling life. You can live in the nice neighbourhood and take a low paying, stable job, be frugal, get good insurance, and enjoy the advantages of your class position.
Pardon me if this comes off as overly prescriptive or nihilistic.
slaacaa@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Thanks, good and on point reflection.
I am definitely guilty of always wanting to chase bigger/better things.
Wife and I together are pulling a quarter of a million euros per year now, and even if tax eats a large part of it, that is an incredible salary even in Western EU, especially for people from ex-Soviet countries. Yet I was unhappy that I didn’t make a promotion that would add only around 30k on this, but I wanted the prestige and recognition that comes with it.
You’re right that we only have very little debt, I could pay it off tomorrow, but it’s so cheap it’s better to keep it and finance the renovation from our savings. After that, we could move back to the renivated house in our home city, take a 50% salary cut, and still be fine.
Let’s see what the future brings. I’m getting closer and closer to perspective you share in your comment. My unhappiest friend is a millionaire entrepreneur living in Dubai for tax reasons, with 2 kids in expensive private school, fancy apartment with own staff, and a wife that doesn’t seem to love him anymore. I envy his business success, but not his life, and he himself told me we would trade most of his money for a better marriage.
Life is weird, and it’s even weirder that I have some of the deepest and most meaningful online discussions about it with strangers under greentexts.
grrgyle@slrpnk.net 3 days ago
Funny old world, isn’t it? It sounds like you’re at an inflection point in your life. You’ve got all your data, and now you just have to make a decision. From my perspective the better decision seems obvious, hence why I felt compelled to offer my unsolicited opinion.
It’s funny that you mention you and your Wife are from ex-Soviet countries — maybe this is a stereotype, but in my personal experience the drive to excel and chase wealth seems to really take root in some ex-Soviet people or their children, even the ones who have nostalgia for socialism.
Maybe it’s no more than the normal rate but the juxtaposition makes it stand out, though.
I wish you good luck in your decision!