Oh, no, I never meant Ender as about “total experience” or hedonism (that also why I pointed out that it wasn’t premeditated).

Just that the duality is a sort of step-by-step consequence where firstly Ender had/chose one experience & only after that one the other (when presented with the second choice he already “just” had the first experience and wasn’t wishing more of it).

We are made of experience & less of premeditation.

Sorry, I don’t actuality think Ender works as this example, too young & the story/the genocide presented as an too easy choice (and I’m to clumsy with words to express myself properly).

But, with a lot of changes imagine the characters first choice being on the planet to save the eqq queen (as if that was a separate Ender) - the choice between not being destructive & assuring humanity is safe.

And I still agree with everything you wrote abut humans basically, my sub-point was somewhere within that.