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laz@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

To: All Staff From: Morale Department Subj: EXCITING new partnership!

Team, big news! After a very productive meeting, we’ve received a special clarification directly from the Vatican on workplace motivation!

Turns out, Colossians 3:23 (“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord”) is now considered binding corporate policy.

So, effective immediately, hitting your quarterly goals is a direct path to salvation. On the flip side, slacking off is… well, let’s just say the paperwork for eternal damnation is a real hassle for everyone involved.

Let’s get to work, saints! 😉

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