All I can say is that for the bad things in my life, I haven’t come to terms with them at all. I still consider them shitty and bad, even if I have found silver linings. I am not one of those “I am so glad X disaster happened to me because of Y positive outcome it led to” types, I’d rather not have had X happen at all, though of course I say that as someone who has not had such a big silver lining come of my negatives in life. The pain fades with time. I do not and will not feel obligated to come to terms with these things or accept them, it just happens to be that time means they take up less headspace and I do not dwell on them—a pretty similar end result to what I think most people who “come to terms” get. All this is to say: mourn, grieve, don’t feel obligated to act happy for others, and the “come to terms, get over it/see something positive” path will not always work for everyone and you can move on with life without taking that path.