Comment on The joy of quitting a shit job with an asshole boss
KeenFlame@feddit.nu 1 week agoYeah that’s a good way to handle that sort of thing, and you did the right thing. However, and this is just a personal thing, and may not be applicable to your situation:
I have had adhd my entire life and worked around it. It has its problems with changing activity, and many people have this symptom with it. When I got medication and the problem was mitigated, I realised that my entire life I heard and was deeply ashamed of me not respecting others because of my chronic lateness. Now that I understand I wasn’t physically able, I can see that all the pain from hearing that I’m not respectful, when I’m truly sincerely am, did not help. The issue was never respect, it was a clinical defect in my frontal lobe. In my country we have “work therapists” they’re not for work, they’re for practically finding out if you have problems with productivity (even home stuff). One of these helped me realise and I was “cured”. I really thought I just suck. And nothing I did could fix it, and I would be truthful when I told others I get it and want to improve. And I was sincere in trying everything. I empathise with that guy probably because I was like that and I know I always held my job and coworkers high in regard and did my absolute best, but it came out as being disrespectful and disingenuous. Just needed to get that off my chest, cheers!
Bamboodpanda@lemmy.world 1 week ago
What you shared lands really close to home for me. I’m right there with you. My ADHD is the “leave‑your‑keys‑in‑the‑fridge, miss‑the‑turn‑you‑take‑every‑day” flavor, and when you layer in a hefty dose of imposter syndrome, it can feel like the whole world sees “irresponsible” when I’m just wrestling with my own wiring.
Over the years I’ve had to build some pretty extreme guardrails to keep myself on track:
The 15‑minute rule. I aim to arrive everywhere a quarter hour early. It buys me a buffer for the inevitable “where did I put my badge?” scramble and lets me start calm.
Alarm orchestras. My phone is a symphony of labeled reminders: “Leave NOW,” “Send daily status,” “Prep tomorrow’s kit.” If it dings, I do the thing right then (no bargaining, no “I’ll remember in five”). Future‑me is not a reliable assistant.
Immediate action. If a task pops into my head and will take less than two minutes, I do it on the spot. That tiny rule has saved me from a mountain of forgotten follow‑ups.
Radical transparency. This is my most important rule for myself. I tell my team straight up: “ADHD is my software; here’s how I patch the bugs. If you spot a glitch, flag me.” People are surprisingly supportive when they understand the why so I tell everyone.
None of these tricks erase my problems, but they translate good intentions into results the team can feel. And every time a coworker says, “I know I can count on you,” even when I am too harsh in judging myself.
Your story is a powerful reminder that what looks like disrespect can be a neurological hurdle. I hope anyone reading our thread pauses before labeling someone lazy or careless. Sometimes the most respectful thing we can do for ourselves and for each other is to seek understanding, build systems that work for our brains, and keep rooting for one another’s progress.
Thanks again for sharing. You’re not alone, and the fact that you care this much tells me you’re exactly the kind of teammate people want in their corner.
KeenFlame@feddit.nu 1 week ago
Haha you really need lots of framework to work like a normal being but there are benefits too, thank god. Your alarm symphony made me think of one thing that revolutionised this problem for me, a special alarm. It will not shut off until I scan a qr code on my bathroom mirror. After struggling with it so many years it was so fucking unbelievable to finally get something to work. I didn’t even have high hopes since I tried so many notifications, alarms, different types of smart captcha things, but then just physical movement to another place that cannot be cheated just made a huge difference, because once I walk through a doorway, it’s like my brain switches to a new activity automatically. Cheers!