Yeah, I’m still in pain and keep tipping back into dehydration so nothing got done today and I spent it sleeping. Hate how this is so chronic and keeps relapsing. I just want to be doing stuff and living my life.

I should be learning about drawing and colour mixing but I can’t. There’s so much to doing art ‘right’ that I’m not really able to take in right now. Major analysis paralysis and lack of focus.

I’m wondering if I should just take the random tertiary colours and paint the crappiest still life ever just to get a feel for the process (and use these tubes up). But I can’t seem to make myself. Even the drawing step. Drawing boxes and shapes is not really making sense to me because I spent so long untrained and just drawing contours by eye. Teaching yourself fundamentals later in life is hard.

Art is probably not the hobby to be attempting when lacking energy and feeling low. Whether you make something bad or just don’t do anything it’s easy to feel like a failure either way.