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valentinesmith@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

I‘m not that deep in relationship anarchy and in a currently monogamous queer relationship.

I do think the difference lies in the traditionality you have touched upon in that you and your partner have a script / rough idea that has/is guiding aspects of your relationship and that relationship anarchist would want to explicitly frame/structure themselves in most of the relationships they engage in. This is more in the direction of: my romantic partner is also a partner I share finances with or plan to cohabitate with or think about offspring with etc.

I don’t think there has to be an inherent value judgment in this. Different people prefer different things so I think it always works out and either way you have to communicate with your partner in what works in your relationship. (Who does what housework, what do esch of you want out of the relationship, etc.)

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Classy@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

a script / rough idea that has/is hiding aspects of your relationship

I guess I can respect that when one accepts a worldview that it will have an inherent impact on one’s relationships, and if one generally has views on life that are anarchistic that it would follow that they would want to seek such openness in other aspects of their life, too.

When I describe myself as traditionalist, a lot of it is in things like, as the man in the relationship, I feel a deep desire to sacrifice financially and physically to ensure my family is well provided for, and my partner as the woman generally orients herself towards caring for our child in ways that I might not. It’s inherent to our relationship, and neither of us has talked about it nor had any issues for the times we’ve broken from these roles. That ‘traditionality’ fits us well and I feel like we do a good job raising our child compassionately but also with structure and respect.

I ultimately don’t care what people do if they’re not hurting others. If whatever you’re doing works well for you and your partner I’m happy to hear that. I wouldn’t say I align with your views but it’s a big world, isn’t it?

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