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Chronic suicidality is tons of fun. Impossible to get treatment for, because if you say it wrong you get to lose all of your rights and get shoved in a not-prison cell.

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puppycat@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
fuck. i haven’t been not suicidal since… idk, since i figured out suicide is a thing that is possible?

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- andros_rex@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
  Like, the world clearly doesn’t want me to exist. Growing up a gender non conforming “weird” probably autistic kid, my mother is legitimately a monster along the lines of Gypsy Rose’s mother. I attempted multiple times as a teenager because I kept hoping someone would notice and take me away.
  
  An abusive marriage, where near the end I was my husbands “slave” and had to sleep on the floor while he fucked teenagers. I did sex work to earn my bachelors degree in a career field with high need - but then they made it impossible to teach and be trans.
  
  But if I say - I’d rather just be dead than try to hope the next thirty years won’t be more hell - the answer is to shove me in a cell (with literal shit on the floor and “I am a bad mother” scrawled on the walls in crayon from the previous inhabitant) and drug me unconscious.
  
  The reason I’m not killing myself this week is that I’m waiting on a FOIA request so the fuckers that my mother got to drug me into shutting up about her benzos will face some sort of justice. A lot of it is just being able to call out evil - to keep screaming about the way people like me have been hurt and are being hurt. I’m just so fucking tired though.
  
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  - knightmare1147@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago
    Hey. You deserve good things in life and don’t let anyone tell you anything less. I’m just a stranger on the Internet but keep going. Keep trying and keep looking to surround yourself with people that care about and support you.
    
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