Honestly, when they’re hand-reared, emus are extremely docile. A lot of zoos/animal rescues in Australia have big open paddocks where kangaroos, wallabies and emus roam freely and you can walk right up to them and feed them or pat them. I’ll never forget being 11 years old and walking up to pat a bird that was bigger than me - extremely scary but also so gentle and sweet. It really liked scratches from the base of its neck right up the back towards its head.

Now cassowaries are the ones you don’t wanna fuck with. A huge horn they headbutt you with AND dragon talons for disemboweling you coupled with extreme aggression and territorialism? Fuck that for a joke.