Comment on Are mood problems a “turn off” for people even when they’re hard to manage?
iltoroargento@lemmy.sdf.org 6 days ago
For the most part, yes. Definitely depends on the person, but this can be a very challenging social dynamic. It sounds pretty chaotic and I am not sure how many people would be able to deal with that day by day.
To your last point, emotional communication is always tough and it’s really hard to piece things together to get your thoughts across when tensions are high. I think that coming from a mindset of refining and explaining, to yourself first and then to others, why you feel a certain way or did a certain action could be a good start.
Additionally, a lot of people do not respond well to “tough love”. I would argue that for the majority of scenarios, it’s one of the least successful ways to go about showing support and care for someone else. Setting clear and respectful boundaries is one thing, but providing only conditional support is a great way to tank a relationship and have someone distrust you. I think it’s also helpful to unpack why you feel you need to act that way with people you care about. For me, that took a lot of work (still does) and goes back to my relationship with my dad (which has its positives and negatives, a lot of which we’ve worked through over the years).
One of the most important ideas I’ve come across with communication is that you should ask yourself if your actions are helping you meet your goals in the conversation. If you really want to build a strong trusting relationship with someone, that’s going to look wildly different to the actions you would take if you really want to distance yourself from someone. And if you mess up with how you presented yourself or how you meant to come across, address it as soon as you possibly can. Clear communication is key and being clear with yourself and your goals/wants/needs/preferences is the start of that.
Hope that helps lol good luck out there. There’s a lot of happiness to bring to the world if you work toward it.