🤝

Still a bit too upscale, though. I was thinking, top to bottom:

• semi-transparent green sun visor
• really work on that mustache; if it’s too full, thin it out until it’s scraggly and wispy
• the Marlboro logo idea is great, but I think here you have to sacrifice to advertise that you’re “The Father of the Bride,” complete with printed bow-tie at the neck
• Cargo shorts
• Calf socks
• Sandals, but not Birkenstock! Make sure it’s a cheap brand
• Don’t forget a profusion of temporary tattoos on your calfs and arms! Extra points if they look poorly done and faded.
• you can get black teeth caps that make it look like you’re missing teeth. Don’t skimp on accessories!

And, most importantly: a fanny pack.

I’ll admit, it’s mixing metaphors a bit, but at this point you’re shooting for more than just looking poor; you’re aiming beyond sheer embarrassment. You need to attain complete mortification.