These are the ones I’ve played over the years. Hope I’m not missing anything:

Elite Dangerous - Highly reccomend this, it’s basically a huge sandbox, with full size galaxy, “real” star distances and orbits, excellent flight model. It also has the most awesome community around it. Downsides are that while it has lore and ongoing background story, there’s no quest, no interesting characters, no rpg elements. Also there’s quite a learning curve, and quite a grind (albeit maneageable these days). There’s also a new colonization feature in the works that will involve a lot of comunity effort. If you do play it, join a group, a squad, or just buzz me so I can add you here and there. Friends make the game sooo much better.

Everspace 2 - This may be what you’re looking for, as it has story, good gameplay, arcadey flight model and lots of rpg elements. Overall a great game. Only problem with it is that it’s not particularly large. Its universe is far smaller than starfield’s.

NMS - Another one with an immense galaxy. This one has a storyline, but not a lot of rpg elements. A lot of it is procedural and after a while feels very samey and shallow. It does have crossplay and a great community as well.

X4 - Not especially large, but great single player game, with a universe that feels lived in. Also no rpg and I hear the endgame gets a bit managery.

Spacebourne - Haven’t played it long but iy gas good potential. There’s a bunch of systems, there’s quests, reminds me a bit of freelancer. The downside is that there’s a single dev, so development is slow and there’s a fair amount of jank.