When I was young enough to not realize this wasn’t a question for my dad (5-7ish), I asked him what “dropping the soap” meant in a prison context. He explained that mens and womens prisons don’t mix, and gave a kid friendlyish answer. I then proved further, because I was aware of gay people saying it wasn’t a choice, and didn’t get how it could sometimes be a choice.

My dad, completely unaware of how to handle this situation said “when you’re desperate, sometimes a hole’s a hole.” It took about five years for me to understand that answer.