The original post: /r/television by /u/Robert_B_Marks on 2026-03-24 17:55:21+00:00.
Well, I just gave into curiosity, and read the leaked script for the new Buffy pilot…
Well, it’s not good, at least not for most of it. But, it’s also not bad when you consider the completed text. There are some legitimately suspenseful moments, and you do get invested in the main characters. But, it’s also one of those scripts that is sabotaged by its own title (more on that in a bit).
The opening is pretty bad, if I’m being honest. You have a “slayer” cosplayer at vampire festival stab one of the costumed staff with a plastic stake, and get her pass revoked as a result. She then gets eaten on the way home by a real vampire. The thing is that the writers here don’t seem to understand what being stabbed with a hard object means - the staffer is probably going to the hospital for X-rays at the very least, so it being treated as though it’s on the level of minor harassment of staff just doesn’t feel right.
It’s during this scene that we get the first of a problem that runs throughout the script: a very artificial level of self-aware dialogue. Now, there’s a place for self-aware dialogue, but to a degree it has to be earned (or at least built-up to), and this just throws it in from the get-go.
But, our first victim gets eaten, and the story moves onto our protagonist, Nova, who is awakening as a slayer. Nova is a good, compelling character. She’s a bookworm and a bit of an introvert, she’s got asthma and next to no physical abilities whatsoever. She just wants to get through school and get out to university…but she’s got to slay vampires instead. This IS a compelling and likeable character.
Unfortunately, she really doesn’t get the time in the script that she should, as odd as that sounds. Conventional storytelling logic says that we should see most of the story through her eyes, with new characters being introduced as she encounters them. But, that’s not the writers do - they have a cast of characters they’re eager to introduce, and so we keep cutting away to them. It leaves the first half of the script feeling rather unfocused (this isn’t necessarily bad - there were no scenes that felt unnecessary to the story - but the script would have benefitted from a restructuring of them).
Our vampires now appear - Shirley and Jack - and they’re legitimately fun characters. They’ve been trapped underground with an army of vampires for over twenty years, and they suffer a massive culture shock (particularly during a vampire festival). Unfortunately, the script doesn’t do as much as it could with this, but it is fun while it lasts (sadly, both are dead by the end). Their goal is to raise an army of vampires and “the magister” (and there’s a nice twist coming on that).
The festival takes place, and vampire shenanigans ensue. Nova awakens to her powers and kills Jack after her history teacher, Mr. Burke, has been attacked and turned. Shirley goes to carry out the ritual, and is stopped by Nova and her new friend, Hugo. Vampire Mr. Burke escapes.
Of course, this is a pilot, so something does complete the ritual (to the script’s credit, this is properly set up), and we get our little twist: the “magister” the vampires are waiting to lead them is, in fact, Mr. Burke (“magister” being Latin for “teacher”), who is now revealed to be the big bad.
The script ends, and in a stinger we see Buffy in an insurance office, working a regular job, as insurance claims from Sunnydale start to appear on her screen.
So, there’s actually a lot to like here. The script is a bit unfocused, but it is tight - there are no scenes that feel like they shouldn’t be there. Characters do things because they want something, and are using their agency to get it. Nobody does anything just because the script tells them to.
But…
…but, this script has some serious characterization problems outside of the main cast. Almost none of the adults feel like real people - instead, they feel like caricatures out of a satire (there’s a scene with a guidance counselor that manages to hit the grotesque). The self-aware dialogue, when it appears, doesn’t feel like the characters are commenting on something they’ve seen before (such as the Scooby Gang in the original Buffy lampshading how many times they’ve saved the world), but like the writers are trying to sound hip and self-aware through them (and, if I’m being frank, like they’re trying to look more clever than they really are). And then there’s Buffy…
So, I’m not kidding when I say that this script is sabotaged by the show’s title. Buffy isn’t in this, but more to the point, she doesn’t have to be. She isn’t needed for this story or these characters. If you re-titled the show to “Nova the Vampire Slayer,” this script would work just fine within the Buffyverse. But, that’s not what they’ve done. So, to live up to the name, Buffy Summers haunts the first half, with people wondering if she was real or not (this doesn’t really work, because she wasn’t a drifter wandering through - she was a schoolgirl with classmates, so lots of people would remember her). She gets referenced in an off-the-cuff line in the second half (“I’m not Buffy the vampire slayer!” “No, you’re Nova the vampire slayer”). I understand why the writers have done this: they’re introducing the legend before they re-introduce the character. But, for a show literally named “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” Buffy needs to be physically present in more than just a stinger - the show needs to be about her, not just piggybacking off her name.
But…
…but I think I like what the writers have done here better than I would have liked a direct continuation. Here’s the thing: Nova is compelling, and having her and her friends trying to navigate this without help makes for a compelling drama. It actually has the potential to keep it fresh, and to keep the danger omnipresent because they don’t really know what they’re doing. I liked the idea of Buffy being this legend that they feel like they have to live up to, and are not sure that they can. And the moment you bring Buffy in as a main character, it takes that tension away - there is no threat that the viewer won’t expect Buffy to be able to solve.
So, this is a script with some proper potential. It needs work: I’m not kidding about the characterization and dialogue problems, and it can seriously benefit from a restructuring to add focus. But, I enjoyed this a lot more than I thought I would. It’s not good, but it’s not bad either, and it wouldn’t take much to make this something really solid (EDIT: I would add that the second half is better than the first).