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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/StepExciting5924 on 2023-10-07 01:41:08.
Sorry in advance for the lengthy post. Trying to give as much detail as I can.
Typing this about 30 min after he left. So I (32F) asked him (44M) to download the Amazon kindle app because I know you can loan books to people on there or whatever. Anyway, I’ve been doing research to see if I’m being unreasonable about wanting to reach orgasm more often when we’re intimate, and in other ways than just oral. I’ve tried talking to him about this before…explained that more foreplay would be nice to get me more aroused and excited, oral before penetration and then taking penetration a little more slowly and patiently might help, etc. but the point is I’ve been very open about what would work for me/ us. He’s said he understands but hasn’t implemented any changes and it’s been a couple of months since the last conversation about this. He frequently complains about the amount of time it usually takes me to orgasm from oral, thus the information I gave him about foreplay. I’m on antidepressants so sometimes it can take a bit but I’m also in my head a lot during bc I know he’s not thrilled about doing it anyway. I usually give him oral when he wants and I’ve adjusted to how he’s told me he likes it…but I have stopped doing this as much lately bc I’m so frustrated with him. Anyway, I sent him this book I found while researching called “she comes first”, which based on the reviews and description talks about how to improve oral sex for your female partner and also talks about things like female arousal and how there’s phases and each one is important, stuff like that. I thought this would be helpful since our talks haven’t helped. I was thinking maybe he’s just not comfortable having a deeper conversation so he can read about it from another man’s perspective. He opened the book and went in the restroom and came out about 10 min later being very cold and distant. I asked him what was going on and he says “wouldn’t you have an issue if I sent you a cookbook” 😂 I told him the two aren’t the same but I wouldn’t have an issue and in fact I would ask if he wanted something specific from the book. He didn’t like that response and blew up on me, walked away to go put on clothes and left the house saying “I’m going out”. When I asked where he ignored me and slammed the door. He ignored my calls so I stopped calling.
What the heck?!!? Is something wrong with my approach? Am I being selfish or unrealistic? For the record, we have sex at least every other day and he finishes every time. I’m honestly just looking for advice or something bc I don’t get why he’s mad or how to better approach this subject with him.