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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/nefariousaquariuss on 2023-10-07 00:22:04.

Purely vent bc I’m still pretty shaken up.

My back deck is on a third story and overlooks a number of other houses and yards. was out there earlier this afternoon and heard a voice that sounded like maybe it was directed at me. Literally just glanced over and noticed a young guy in a back lot a house or two over who it looked like was staring back at me. I’m looking at him trying to figure out if he’s looking at ME (he was far enough away that it was kinda hard to tell) and he hits me with a very hostile “What are you looking at?”

I kinda laughed, said “Sorry,” and went back to my phone. He goes back to what he was doing (fixing a car I think) but is now loudly telling someone else “I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to someone else. One of the ‘new arrivals.’” (this is a historically majority Hispanic though overall very diverse neighborhood and I am white, full disclosure.) “Who thinks they’re in a movie, with a forcefield around them, who likes to hide behind trees” (there was a tree between us lol) “and watch people.”

I ended up glancing over again bc i still kinda couldn’t wrap my head around what was happening, and he once again saw me looking and said “Yeah that’s right, I’m talking to you, the ugly one.” He sounded so fucking angry and mean.

At this point I did call back “I wasn’t staring at you buddy, i’m just hanging out” to which his response was “shut up” and “nobody believes you” :/ i ended up staying out there for an extra 5-10 minutes out of sheer stubbornness but eventually went back in. and spent the rest of my afternoon feeling like shit and sick to my stomach

Posting this here bc I hope some other women can relate to how scary and upsetting it is to be yelled at and insulted by a strange man for no good reason. (I do think there’s a good chance this guy is mentally ill, but that’s not even a sure thing, is the fucked up part.) And also to admit that even though on paper I know just glancing into another yard isn’t a crime, it’s amazing how some part of me still feels ashamed and like a bad person who had this coming. Female socialization is a hell of a drug. And my final point is that (as I’ve said on here before) I wish there were more conversations about the types of harassment that women face for being UNdesirable to men, as well as for being desirable.