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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/BlondeEmo317 on 2023-10-06 21:10:11.
This will be my first post. So bare with me.
I (28f) have two children by my ex (32m).
It’s been a decade since I had our kids, and he has never had anything to do with them. I never got help, no child support, nothing. Only one person in his family was somewhat in their lives. His parents, never were, but his mother likes to play grandma of the year. Late last year he told the family member we do talk to he was wanting to make amends. I spoke to him first, telling him that I wasn’t doing this in and out bs, and he better make sure he wanted to stay, because if he walked out I’m done and will be going for child support. He said that’s fine and he wanted to be in their lives. So I talked to my kids, and they also wanted it. So I said fine. He hung out with them 1-2 days A MONTH. That’s it, which was fine, as long as he was consistent. After about 4 months he stopped texting me back, and reblocked me on everything. So I did what I said I was going too, and took him for child support. His family was mad, and acted like I’m the person at fault and that their precious baby shouldn’t have to take responsibility. Well our final court date was Wednesday, and I got my child support. Yesterday, I ran into his dad, and he wanted to talk to me. He basically said he’d make sure he’d get the kids and take care of them two weekends a month if I drop the child support. He apparently has another child he pays on, which total for both child support cases its almost 700$ a month. He makes 2200, and his dad said he won’t have any money left over. His parents bought him a house and pay his bills. I know he blows a lot of money but I’m not sure why I should drop my child support because his dad wants to continue to coddle him? I took care of them by myself, with no help from them. I paid for everything and made sure they had everything. Why should I continue to pay for everything so he can be forced into a relationship with them?
I’m a people pleaser and I feel bad, but at the same time I don’t. So I just want to know if I’m the asshole if I tell them screw off I’m taking his money?