This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/smolnugget27 on 2023-10-06 12:49:40.
I’ll try not to be all over the place while writing this but in case I still end up doing that I apologise in advance.
My bf (20m) and I (20f) have been dating for over a year atp. We met and started talking about 3 months before getting together.
I had gone through a rough breakup and had severe trust issues, I opened up to him - which was hard but he made me comfortable. I talked to him about everything, he did the same and it felt genuine. He was always patient, affectionate, understanding and compassionate towards me, we took things slow because I was scared of hurting again. He made me fall in love with him. When I say he was the perfect bf for me, I mean it. He was just what I needed and always so loving.
We had our fair share of issues like any other couple but we stuck together and dealt with them. One main issue was that whenever I asked him about his last relationship he used to brush it off and be super vague, his response to my questions would usually be “I don’t remember”, “idk I forced myself to forget” or he would downplay his previous relationship entirely like “it wasn’t that deep”. Obviously this would make me really sus (?) because I used to get this gut feeling that he’s not being honest. I was a100% open with him about everything and I expected the same. Another issue was how I felt like he didn’t put in enough effort or time when it came to me and it just got worse after we became long distance.
That was the back story, now this is what happened these past few days.
We both had each other’s socials logged in and I randomly looked up my name in his chats and that’s where the sh*t show started.
He and his friends had talked so disrespectfully about me when we were in the talking stage and a few weeks into our relationship as well. It made my blood boil. For starters, he told his friends about how “my ex ditched me lmao” and how “I had all sorts of trust issues”, how he was “getting *the b word* and pursuing a new one atm (me)” and a lot of other cheap things. His friends told him about how he should “rail me and take a video to send it to my ex hookup” and again many other cheap things that I’m not gonna include because this post will become too long. They also talked about other girls very cheaply. Along with that, his ex relationship wasn’t anywhere close to what he wanted me to believe, so that’s beautiful too.
(These were all old chats to clarify again, 3-4 months into us talking and being in a relationship)
My trust in him is shattered, I can’t look at him the same anymore. I see his face on vc or pictures and my blood boils, all I can think about is how he talked about me, how he let others talk about me, how he made me feel like I was crazy for asking about his ex over and over again when in fact he was the reason I felt that way in the first place. I find him revolting. The worst part is he never planned to tell me any of this. I know some of you will comment about how “guys talk” but I’m not gonna give any guy a free pass like that. I would like to believe that there are decent guys out there no matter how normalized this cheap way of talking has become.
I feel betrayed, heartbroken and so so angry.
I broke up with him.
He kept telling me how I’ve changed him as a person entirely and how he knows he was cheap and disgusting before and what he did wasn’t right but that’s not him anymore. He told me to think back and tell him if I ever felt like he treated me badly and I agreed he didn’t.
I don’t know what to do, I’ve blocked him from everywhere but I feel like I might’ve overreacted ?
And I also feel like if I don’t reach out he won’t either because he thinks he has lost me completely (or maybe he just doesn’t wanna put in effort lol). I love him and want to be with him but I can’t even look at him now. A part of me no long thinks it’s even worth it anymore.
Tbh it’s not like he is making an active effort to get in touch with me anyway. Looking back, our whole relationship seems like a lie.
I don’t know if I can give it another shot, I just don’t trust him to be honest with me or put in any effort anymore. How do I go about things? What if I’ve made a rash decision by breaking up? Is it worth trying again?