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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/OkAdhesiveness7090 on 2023-10-06 13:32:15.
Me (22F) am marrying Tom (24M) in 2 months. For some background info, We don’t have a lot of money for a big wedding ceremony/celebration but it has to be done in 2 months since one of our relatives is visiting from the army and it is very important that she’s there (we don’t know how long until she comes back). We’re just gonna get married legally at a courthouse by signing the papers and have a small dinner with immediate family and VERY close friends. In the family side, both of my parents are coming but i have no siblings. On his side his parents and 4 siblings are coming.
I am only inviting 2 friends that I have been very close with for 5+ years, he is inviting 3 friends that he has been friends with for 10+ years. Like i said, close friends. He has meet my friends multiple times and I have met his. We like each other even if i don’t have a lot in common with his friends still. It’s important to know his best friend Logan has a very young baby with his longterm girlfriend (I have also met her a few times, not as much because of being busy with the baby understandably) who is also coming to the dinner to celebrate our wedding.
The problem comes when, this morning, Tom told me he wanted to invite his other friend’s girlfriend. Let’s call this other friend Joe. Joe has only been with his girlfriend maybe a month or so and just got out of his previous relationship less than a month before he entered this new one. Tom says that it’s not fair Logan’s girlfriend is coming but Joe’s isn’t and that he doesn’t wanna tell him he can’t bring her. I told him we both haven’t met this girl and don’t even know her name. I myself didn’t even know he was dating somebody else until last night. And i reminded him it’s only an intimate dinner with family and friends who at this point are also family to us.
He got irritated at the fact that i didn’t wanna invite his gf saying it would only add 1 more person and it’s not like we’re suddenly inviting 10+ more people. I told him there’s still 2 months before the wedding and if we both meet and like her beforehand, she’s allowed to come. He then said that we work long hours and might not find a chance to meet her and wouldn’t be a big deal to meet her at the dinner. I told him i wouldn’t want a stranger there even if it was one of my best friend’s new gf/bf. He believes that if it was about my friend’s, I’d be okay with the idea, which i wouldn’t be either way.
He got mad and said “I just won’t invite Joe at all then” like i didn’t just say i’m flexible with her coming if we meet her beforehand. I told him that obviously Joe will attend i explained AGAIN just don’t feel comfortable with her there since everyone else there is basically family and she’s a stranger to us right now.
He said i was making a big deal out of nothing and left for work. So AITA?
Edit for extra info: there are no plus ones and Logan’s gf is being invited as her own person rather than +1, this is what we had agreed on.