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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/carex-cultor on 2023-10-06 15:52:06.
Women in abusive relationships are often advised not to attend relationship counseling with their abuser, for good reason. Abusive men will merely learn new and even more effective tools to abuse their partner, by couching the abuse in therapyspeak.
But I’ve noticed this happening more and more even if the man in question attends therapy alone. With more boys and men being encouraged to seek therapy and get in touch with their feelings - and rightfully so - I’ve also noticed an uptick in abusive and controlling men using terms like “gaslighting,” “boundaries,” “narrative,” “DARVO,” etc, to lend pseudo-academic credibility and a shroud of innocence to abusive and controlling demands/behavior. Jonah Hill is the quintessential example of this.
Therapy is a vital tool for many, and that includes many normal men who reap great benefits from opening up to a therapist and learning the right words to describe and process their experiences. But be very careful about men, especially male partners, attempting to use that newfound language to control you.