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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/PixelPioneer89 on 2023-10-06 02:55:43.


I (F22) have a sister (F26) who is 36 weeks pregnant. Our grandma (79) is very excited as this is her first great-grandchild. She does however have a history of going too far with certain things. She does not believe in boundaries, such as how my sister has expressed she does not like having her back randomly rubbed. Our grandma insists that she automatically gets to do all she wants as she is the grandmother. She has also bombarded my sister with several questions about the pregnancy, even things my sister did not feel comfortable talking about but insists it’s her “right” to know. We’ve talked to our mom but she just says it’s because she’s old.

My sister has brought up the plan for her birth. Grandma said she was so excited to witness her great-grandchild be born. My sister apologized profusely and said that she only wanted it to be her and her boyfriend in the delivery room and no one else, not even our mom. She has not felt well her entire pregnancy and knows labor will not be a good time for her and doesn’t want people seeing her in such a vulnerable state. For a minute grandma genuinely thought she was joking and got super upset when she realized she was serious. She asked my sister how dare she “deprive” her of the experience of watching the birth of her first great-grandchild. She started crying and went on about how selfish she was. My sister explained time and time again how she wanted her own privacy but grandma said there’s no reason privacy should apply to the grandma. This was two weeks ago.

Grandma has since bombarded us, our mom, and my sister’s boyfriend with calls and texts demanding she be in the delivery room as it is “her right.” (she has a history of playing the “it’s my right as the grandmother” card). We saw her again three days ago and she would not let the matter drop. She began crying again saying how dare my sister be so cruel to her own grandmother. My sister was getting so angry and heated and started yelling. I tried the same way as my sister but she would just not listen. It got to the point where I told her “Grandma, you need to stay in your lane. It’s her delivery so it’s her choice and you have to stop being so entitled.” She gasped and burst into tears and hysterics. She asked how dare we treat her so poorly. She’s said I have now created a drift between us and her forever. She left and we haven’t heard from her since.

My sister is completely on my side and actually thanked me for standing up for her. Our mom however says I was way too harsh and that it was a b*tch move on my part. Our dad also found out and ripped me to shreds over the phone (parents not together). They both genuinely think I’ve ruined the relationship for good.

I really need an outside opinion. AITA?