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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/HeyCaptainJack on 2023-10-05 23:48:19.


Weird question but I have 4 sons. They are 14, 12, 8, and 4. The older two are biological and the younger two were adopted after a birth complication made us infertile.

I was at the park over the weekend with my younger two boys. I got to chatting with another couple and mentioned that I had 4 boys. She said something like, “Oh, you poor thing. I wanted a girl too but he (pointing to her husband) didn’t want to have a 3rd.” I told her that I didn’t try for a girl and that if I wanted a girl we could have put that in our adoption paperwork but we didn’t have a gender preference. I had no strong desire for a girl and love having sons so she has no reason to feel sorry for me. It rubbed me the wrong way that she said “poor thing.” Like my boys aren’t good enough for me and she said it right in front of them. They already have to field questions about being adopted. They shouldn’t have to feel bad about their gender too, you know?

Anyway, the lady got upset, told me I was being rude for no reason, and walked away. I spoke to my SIL about it and she also felt I didn’t handle it correctly. She has 3 girls and 1 boy and said it is just a normal thing people comment on. She said people will tell her that her son is going to be feminine because he only has sisters and she just shrugs it off so I should have done the same.

AITA?