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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/LipstickBandito on 2023-10-05 21:57:49.
I don’t think there’s a thing wrong with it either. Mini rant incoming.
Men seem to think if you’re on BC, they don’t need to wear a condom, and will be less careful, more likely to stealth, and much more likely to pressure you into condomless sex. They disregard the risk of STD’s, because they’re at less risk to begin with.
How are they being harmed? They aren’t. They have no valid reason to be upset or complain even if they did find out. Men do not have a right to know about what medications you’re on just because they’re a sexual partner.
You might be thinking, “well you really shouldn’t be sleeping with somebody if you don’t trust them”. The thing is though, there are different levels of trust, and sometimes people can trick you. You can trust somebody and still be betrayed by them. So, I think since it’s my body and my life on the line, it’s fair to play it safe. Again, what actual harm is this causing?
Sure, it could be considered a vetting process to tell them you’re on BC and see if they pressure you to have condomless sex, but they might not verbally discuss this. The may just decide that it’s okay if the condom slips off a bit, or that it was “implied” that they don’t need to wear one. All without ever saying anything to you.
Personally, I’d rather not leave room for some man to decide what risk level I should be okay with taking. I will always double up on birth control methods, and condoms are for STD’s as much as they’re for preventing pregnancy.
I don’t care if it makes some guy upset that I “needlessly forced” another man to wear a condom. I don’t care. I do not consent to condomless sex, and me being on BC does not change that. It’s selfish whining in my book. I have to be careful, why shouldn’t he have to be? I consider birth control a safety net, not my primary means of preventing pregnancy.
If they think I could get pregnant with a drop of sperm, they’ll be more careful. If they don’t know I’m on the pill, they won’t know to sabotage my pills. I see only upsides on my end and zero actual downsides on their end.
And no, I don’t consider, “you should never lie to your partner about anything”, a valid reason not to do this. Lies that are for your own safety are OK, don’t let a man tell you otherwise.
Besides, if I was in a serious, long-term relationship where there was real trust built up, I would probably tell him. I’m talking here about hookups, flings, and other short-term things.