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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Gosiiik23 on 2023-10-05 11:56:42.
I (F26) got an offer from my boss to move abroad next year for 6 months to open a new branch of our agency and be a branch manager (it’s a 2h flight away). It’s an incredible offer to get at my age and I worked my ass off for the past 2+ years as a project manager / team leader to get here(started off as the former role, organically became the latter one as well). I’d have all expenses with the move covered. It’s a dream come true for me career-wise.
Here’s the issue. My husband (M29) doesn’t want to move. He’s about to have an exam in december to finally get all necessary qualifications for his profession (think like bar exam in the US). His salary would go up and he’d be able to be independent. But… only in our country. I’m not sure he’d be able to find a job abroad and he really doesn’t want to move. I am making 3x his salary and we’d still live comfortably, but understably he doesn’t want a break in his career especially when it’s finally going to take off. He wants to save as much as possible to buy a house, have kids etc. I want the same but not necessairly now, perhaps in a year or so. We don’t have enough saved to do it earlier anyways and I want to negotiate my salary for the new position so that we would still be on track with all these plans.
For a little context, he’s always been more domestic, doesn’t care to learn more languages or travel. Which is fine. I, on the other hand, consider myself more of a cosmopolitan person. I speak 3 foreign languages and am currently learning a 4th one, always dreamt of international career whether it’s about being able to travel or just move abroad. During our relationship I did move abroad twice for more than a year, so we know that long-distance relationship is doable, but when I came back 3 years ago we discussed that we don’t want that anymore. So I stayed.
When we talked about the opportunity, he instantly became cold and short with me. We are speaking etc. normally, but anytime the topic comes up, he gets annoyed. Doesn’t say no to me going alone (or with our dog), but isn’t happy for me nor wants me to go.
Thus, WIBTA if I accepted the offer?