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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/BrokenCatapiller on 2023-10-05 11:13:42.
I (F28) have been married to my husband Bob (M41) for two years.
A year ago Bob decided that he wanted to do his Masters Degree (1.5 years full time) so that he can work in a different field. Bob felt that having full time study and a part time job would be too much, and we decided that he should concentrate on his studies.
I work full time as a RN and Bob has been studying. We have to pay the fees upfront and it has been painful. A week before the start of the last semester Bob needed an emergency appendectomy. He decided to study part time for the whole semester in order to recover from surgery. He dropped half his classes.
At some point I crunched the numbers and realised we could not afford to pay the tuition for the next semester’s fees. Bob still has 1.5 full time semesters to study. We literally had NO savings and we’re just scraping by.
Bob was offered a job in a different city and we moved. The idea is once we have saved $$$, Bob can finish his course. He has the option to do a few of the classes online, but he wants to do it in person and all at once. Fine. His choice.
I started in the ICU of a hospital in the new city, but bumped into the NICU manager in my first week and she tried to convince me to move to NICU as they were desperate for staff, and were offering up-skilling.
This is the bit where I might be the asshole - the hospital would pay my tuition fees for my to study a Graduate Diploma in NICU Nursing. I would work in the NICU 4 days a week and at college one day a week. I would lose one day a week of wages, but could pick up extra shifts in the ICU.
I was excited to do this and asked Bob what he thought. He was hurt and said “But why do you get to do your thing, when we can’t afford to do mine?” and he won’t speak to me now.
AITA for wanting to study when we can’t afford for Bob to study right now?