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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/SprinklesConnect7017 on 2023-10-05 00:37:18.
Throw away account because family drama.
Before we were married my (34F) and husband (42M) were in a horrific car accident, both almost killed. Since we were unmarried we each received separate 8 figure settlements. Literal fuck you money as we were hit by a major carrier 18 wheeler in 2016. We both still work full time, I have a 6 figure salary my husband 7 figure salary. Sounds braggy, sorry, but it’s important. Now to the point.
My brother, Mike (38M), proposed to my now SIL, Alice (32F) in 2017 and married in 2018. I love them both and would burn the world down for them no questions asked BUT I think they see my husband and I as an ATM. Post settlements, husband and I paid off all our student loans. I have a master’s he a Ph.D. so not cheap. I also, without his knowledge as a surprise, paid Mike’s student loans with the help of SIL. Would have paid SILs too but she had a full scholarship so no loans.
Mike and Alice paid for their own wedding as Alice’s family couldn’t afford it but chipped in where they could. It was a beautiful wedding. They stayed within budget but Mike realized he wouldn’t be able to take their dream honeymoon and asked if my husband and I could loan him some money for the cruise he wanted to take her on. We agreed and asked him to pay us back within a year of the trip. He agreed. To this day we haven’t seen a dime but aren’t mad over it. Alice and Mike hit a rough patch with some health issues, then covid and now here we are.
My SIL can be a lot. She also likes to tell me how to parent my kids (5M, 3M, and 1M). She and Mike don’t have any and don’t plan to. Fine their choice. My oldest had his birthday party over the weekend and in true 5 year old fashion asked for a trucks theme. We decked the house out. Day was going well until Alice made a comment about my 3YO having a meltdown over not getting any presents. I told her he’s little and expressing emotions how he knows. Not a super big deal for me as he’s pretty easily redirected.
She commented how I’m enabling him to become a “Karen” later in life and how she wouldn’t tolerate it if she had kids. I quipped it was a good thing they weren’t planning on having any and went back to my little guy. She said something to the effect of “poor parenting” and in a snap judgement I told her I paid for her honeymoon and she and Mike owed me $7k and once I got that money back I would take her input into consideration. She grabbed Mike and stormed out of the party. That night my brother, SIL and her sister blew up my phone calling me an AH for telling her. My brother is pissed because it was “supposed to be between us.” Something I don’t recall us talking about. I thought she knew the whole time. AITA?