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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/RCKitKat84 on 2023-10-04 20:43:43.
So, I (40F) have struggled with PCOS since I was diagnosed at 16. I was told at 18 I had less that 1% chance to get pregnant with out medical help. My husband (36M) and I tried for 4 years, and right when I was about to talk to my doctor about what the next steps would be for treatment, I ended up pregnant and gave birth to our son.
When our son was 4, we started trying for a second baby, knowing that while it would be a long journey, it was possible. We did look into getting the medical help this time, but my insurance wouldn’t cover it and we did not have the money to afford it, so we just prayed that the old fashion way would work like it did with our son.
Well, our son is now 10, and I had basically given up on having a second child when we found out that I was once again pregnant! We were over the moon on being able to complete our family. We told our son, who is beyond excited to be a big brother, and told our families and friends the good news. I couple of weeks later, at a BBQ a friend was hosting, I was talking to my best friend about it and she was excited to plan my baby shower for me. She was unable to plan the shower for my son because she lived too far away and was busy with working and grad school, so to get a chance to do it this time made her happy. A couple of other people over heard us and starting telling us that it was tacky to have a baby shower for the second born child, that only an attention seeking AH would throw a second baby shower. My argument is that it has been 10 years since my son was an infant and we have either gotten rid of most of our baby things or they have expired. The only things we have are our sons baby blankets and some sentimental baby clothes our son wore.
These people scoffed and told me that if we couldn’t afford a second baby, we shouldn’t have a second baby and walked away. The rest of the party they stood over on the other side of the yard and kept glancing at me and my best friend, sneering and giggling among themselves. My mood was ruined, and just went through the motions of the rest of the party. I ended up excusing myself early, claiming to be tired and nauseous from the pregnancy (the friend lives about two doors away from my house, so it was a quick walk home).
A little while later my husband came home, my best friend filled him in on what happened. He told me to forget about those women, that they were just jealous and bitter mean girls who haven’t really left high school. He said that we can still have a baby shower if we want. But now I’m wondering, even though it has been 10 years, if I would be an attention seeking AH for having a baby shower for baby #2. So Reddit, WIBTA??