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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Kwala2719 on 2023-10-04 18:14:29.

Hi, I (F-27) have a mother (F-48) and I’ve grown up with a lot of trauma in my early years. Mainly based off my father but some I’ve recently learnt/remembered from my mother. While I love her for sticking around and bringing me up I’ve started to feel that I’ve been taken advantage of. My mother and her 2nd Husband (M-48) met when I was maybe 11 years old? Not long after they were married. They always struggled to conceive and wanted to start their own version of a family. When I turnt 21y they finally had a baby girl, we’ll call her “baby A”. When I turnt 24y they had another, baby boy, we’ll call him “baby B” . I often have been asked to baby sit them in exchange of some money to buy them some food, or something that I wanted so that all parties benefited. However recently, my mother has taken up an interest in golf. She is out doing golf sometimes 5 days per week and each time I am expected to look after the children. (I do not work currently due to mental health conditions). It has even started to upset her husband massively. She’s never home for him either and they now do not spend time with each other and I see that this is effecting his mental health. Myself and my partner have now been married for 3.5 years and me being out of the house constantly for my siblings is starting to put a strain on our relationship also. She has just asked me if I could have the children for a week in a few months time as some of her golfing friends have invited her on a vacation. While I said to her, “it is fine I’ll have to speak with my husband but could I maybe ask for a contribution to my food shopping?” She explained to me that she doesn’t have the money for that and she couldn’t help me. She then proceeded to ask if I could also have them for 3 days in February of next year. Finally I snapped, I told her that she needed to make other arrangements for the children and that I just couldn’t cope with it anymore, I said that I truly fear that she is going through a midlife crisis and doesn’t care about how her actions effect her children, her husband or anyone else for that matter. I told her she needs to start looking after her own children that she’s chosen to have later in her life rather then pass them onto me at every opportunity. I missed out on some of my prime years and lost many friends due to having the commitments of looking after her children, and I’ve had enough. I want to be able to be free until I have my own children and able to travel with my husband and live my life before I choose to introduce children into our world. I feel for my siblings and I love them so much but I reached breaking point. Now she won’t speak to me, or let me see them and says I’ve hurt her too much. AITA