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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Proper_Read_6486 on 2023-10-04 18:20:10.
My friend is getting married next year but she has done the most horrible things behind her fiance’s back.
My friend (sara,26) is engaged to an old friend of mine from highschool (Jason,26).
In 2022, Sara cheated on Jason with his co-worker, from a job he got her. I’ve told her and many of our close friends told her it’s wrong and not fair to Jason (note: he’s been cheated on before). She claims she felt bad and regrets it. As her new year resolution, she told him she had an “emotional” affair and the only physical thing was a kiss. She left out the part where she had sex with him, multiple times. But Jason forgave her and wanted to start over. In february, she messages a guy (eric,29) on instagram who she knew had feelings for her. She went on a date and said he was weird and not her type. Eric works a professional job and is more “stable”, and he lives in a different state 10 hours away. She starts talking to Eric more often and eventually he flies her out to go see him. She told our close friend group about how she wants to leave Jason for Eric. We tell her that’s fine but she needs to be honest with Jason.
Jason proposes to her in March and she accepts and starts the wedding planning process. He works in construction outside of the city and comes home every 20 days for a week. After the proposal he says he wants to be celibate until the wedding day to have God’s blessing. She took that as an opportunity to have unprotected sex with Eric whenever she wanted. She visits him 3-4 times a month, because Jason is out for work. When I asked if she’s even using protection or getting tested, she said “ no only whores get tested” and that she’s against birth control. Slowly our friend group starts to exclude her. We can’t support someone who is reckless, selfish and has no regard for “the love of her life”. Then a few months ago she comes to a dinner party and tells us she’s pregnant, with Eric. She laughs it off and we tell her she needs to come clean now and this has gone on for too long. She says now isn’t the time because Jason planned a trip to Mexico and she really wanted to go. Also, Jason pays for her car and phone bills and she isn’t equipped to let that stuff go. She ended up getting an abortion but continues to make light of the issue. Eric finally broke things off because he felt like she would treat him the same way and he couldn’t look at her anymore. She was upset but said “it’s whatever now, i have a wedding to plan”.
I want Jason to know what has been happening. I don’t want to be involved but he does not deserve to be in a marriage with someone who treats him so poorly. I have known him longer than her, and he’s a good guy. Would I be an asshole if I told him what she’s doing.