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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Existing_Aioli_6232 on 2023-10-04 13:15:52.
Hello Reddit! Me F(28) and my husband M(28) just had our first baby girl 8 months now. In our country it is tradition to name the babies from our parents to honor them. If it is a boy we usually give the baby name from the husband’s side of the family (husbands farther) if it is a girl from the wife’s family (wife’s mother). Many families give the baby name from the husband’s side of the family in both cases. My side of the family has the first tradition but my husband’s the latter.
From the beginning of my pregnancy I clarified that I don’t want to name our baby from either my mother or my mother in law and my husband agreed. We have a good relationship with both of them but we didn’t want to choose between one of their names, in case someone got upset and I also find their names very ordinary. After we had our daughter my husband and I changed our mind and we wanted to name our daughter from our mothers. We had huge fights for the past 7 months and we decided to write the names in two papers, we chose one and the name that came up was my mother’s. My husband at first felt a little sad but then as we called her by her name he got into it. After 7 months we were in piece with this matter.
Then the following day comes… My husband visited his family and announced the name. My mother in law didn’t have any problem with that she just wants her grand baby to be happy and healthy (she is sweet and kind ). But my father in law said that if we don’t call our baby by his wife’s name he is not coming to our wedding neither the baptism of the baby. (He is generally very selfish and manipulative). When my husband returned home and we talked about it I decided I didn’t want my husband and his father to have this fight so I suggested to call her with both of their names (my mother in laws and my mother’s name combine well) and we felt happy again with the name choice.
The following day comes he told them and again he said the same thing adding that he doesn’t want to see us anymore. Now I am really mad I don’t think he is even entitled to have an opinion for our baby name. I don’t know what to do my husband is very sad he doesn’t want to fight with his father but I don’t want to change the name. He also doesn’t want to change the name (because it is not fair to me) but he is afraid that he might not talk to him again. I am mad because I have backed down so much and he is not. After their last conversation I said that I am not visiting again until he apologizes and he is not seeing our baby anymore. I am of cource open to the rest of the family visiting us. AITAH for not agreeing to change our baby’s name?