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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Hot-Examination-9255 on 2023-10-04 11:09:18.

So I’m a 32 year old woman, and my mom lives with me since COVID cause her rental was sold. She’s had a boyfriend for the past 12 years and he regularly comes to my house to spend time with her on his days off, because he himself lives with his parents (by choice, cultural thing I’m assuming).

As for me, I’m a pretty specific person. I’m lactose intolerant and a pescatarian and I also have psychiatric disorders. I’ve got ADHD and borderline and one of these conditions makes me feel very controlling of my surroundings. I like my food a certain way, I butter my toast a certain way and I have hyperfixation food in the house. It doesn’t go over to other people’s businesses. It’s literally just my own. I won’t even drink a beer that’s not mine without asking for permission, because my mum may be counting on it for something.

Now… I’ve spoken to my mom about this several times but she just keeps ignoring me and it’s starting to escalate into massive fights everyday.

My mom’s boyfriend smokes w33d regularly and when he gets the munchies he absolutely destroys my fridge and pantry - indiscriminately. He goes through what my mom bought for them and he goes through MY things as well without even asking.

When I get home from work, I’m expecting to have the food that I PURCHASED for MYSELF and for MY MEALS. And it’s gone. And my mother’s reply is just: I didn’t teach you to be greedy and not share with others.

JFC, I don’t mind sharing occasionally but if I’m the only one spending money on my specific requirements (like lactose free butter and milk) it’s not fair that I get home and my food is gone. In my mother’s opinion we don’t need 2 of everything, so if my stuff is there, she’s not gonna buy duplicates just cause I’m “picky”.

This is causing a huge rift between me and my mom and moving out isn’t an option because it’s both our incomes that keep us going. Am I the asshole for not wanting to share what I work hard to buy?