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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/PossibilityRound6270 on 2023-10-04 03:34:14.

My partner (M40) and I (F39) dated in college. Our relationship broke down after we accidentally got pregnant with our son (M16), and only found out when it was too late to do anything about it medically. Neither of us were ready to be parents financially or emotionally, but I as the mother, had no choice so I stepped up (I would like to stress that I loved my son from the moment I held him, it was just a terrifying pregnancy when I didn’t feel ready). My ex left and while he did pay state mandated child support, had 0 contact with our son.

Recently, he got married and his wife must have found out that he has a son out there in the world. Suddenly he wants a relationship with my son, and I say my son because the only times he’s seen my son is at court visits regarding custody/child support (originally his parents bothered him so he agreed to weekend visitations but never visited).

My son expressed curiosity about meeting his father, so I obviously allowed it. My ex wasn’t abusive or a morally bankrupt person, so I had no issues with them having a relationship. But my son was very disappointed after a few visits at how obviously disinterested my ex was, and apparently it was more his new wife that was grilling him about his childhood, school life and my relationship with my ex. My son wanted to meet with them one more time to get his own feelings off his chest, and tell my ex to never contact him again. After that visit, my ex is threatening to go to court over parental alienation and saying he’ll only back off if I agree to send my son to family therapy with him and his wife.

I spoke with my son about his father’s desires for them to work things out in family therapy, my son doesn’t want to do it. He said he doubts his father “gives a shit about him” and he thinks the new wife only cares because she’s worried he’ll be a bad influence on their future children.

This isn’t a legal question, I’m 99% sure my ex has 0 case because my son is 16 now, and of how long my ex went without seeing him.

But WIBTA if I didn’t put in more effort into making my son go to family therapy with my ex. Is this something a teenage boy might feel resentful his mother didn’t push him more to reconcile with his father when he grows up?