The original post: /r/television by /u/Roland_Hood on 2025-10-22 23:16:48.
Introduction
I agree with most points in those theories and do think Henry and Peter have horrible and abusive parents… but I still stand behind my view that Peter is not the golden child and sometimes Henry is being genuinely horrid and should have gotten severely punished.
Examples of Genuine Horridness
1.) In cousin Polly’s wedding episode when he sneaked off and wolfed down a large chunk of the wedding cake — and not only that, but did so with his hands. No excuse for something like that. And even earlier when he knowingly and gleefully allowed the cat to destroy the suit he was supposed to wear to the wedding. Yes, the suit was ridiculous, but he was not the only one made to wear it and it was for a highly fancy formal event, not just to torture him for the fun of it. Wearing something you don’t like for a few hours is just part of growing up and life — sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to, in order to make someone else’s special day nice. For the same reason, him on purpose falling into the mud puddle in the suit and causing others’ clothes to get filthy too, and then lying about it by claiming it was an accident, was also horrid.
2.) In the fancy French restaurant episode, he threw a tantrum as usual, made his dad chase him around the house (as in dangerously running indoors), stole the car keys (AGAIN, according to the mum), locked himself in the bathroom, and flushed the car keys down the toilet — fully knowing that was forbidden and wrong. And why did he do all this? Because he didn’t want to go to a fine dining restaurant but wanted burgers instead. That is bratty and horrid.
3.) In the shopping episode where he only wanted the flashing, tooting, trendy sneakers and nothing else, he was told no but that he needed new trousers because he was outgrowing the old ones. He whined and complained the entire time until he ran off to cause chaos and destruction in the department store. And it was implied that in the end he had thrown the desired sneakers in his mum’s shopping bag after she’d already paid for everything else, basically attempting to steal them or force his mum to buy them out of embarrassment. Again, horrid with no excuse.
4.) When justifiably grounded and denied the trick-or-treating part of Halloween after he shaved Peter’s head into a gross horrible mess against Peter’s will — as in Henry knew he was doing something horrid — he then cooked up a clever plan to sneak out and go trick-or-treating anyway, which in itself would have just been naughty. But the thing is, he didn’t go normally trick-or-treating like he now could have. Instead, he chose to terrorise other trick-or-treaters and steal all of everyone else’s sweets they had legitimately earned. As in, he chose a needless, extra horrid behaviour against other children, most of whom had never mistreated him.
5.) In the household chores episode where he wanted to go to spend Saturday in Rude Ralph’s house but was made to help with chores first. He wasn’t told he wouldn’t get to go to Ralph’s at all, just that he must help with chores first. Help— not do everything alone like a slave. He was given light, easy tasks to do. Nothing cruel or unusual for his age. Empty all the trash bins in the house? He chose to dump all of the trash in the hallway and then hide the pile in Peter’s bedroom. Separate whites from colors and throw the whites in the laundry machine? He just threw all of it in instead. Wash the car’s windows whilst Dad does the more difficult parts? Instead he filled the insides of the car with water when was left by himself for a while.
All of this destruction whilst complaining and whining endlessly even though he, again, was NOT told he could not go to his friend’s house later. This episode was not abuse, it was actual attempt to teach responsibility and helpfulness and the kid was just bratty in horrid ways. He had no excuse, because as far as we know he got to go over to his friends’ houses usually just like any kid so it’snot like this was some kind of a rare chance due to abuse, that he was forced to wait for. Nope, he was just a horrid brat that day.
Accountability and Parenting
So… my point is, just because there is an angry, neglected and emotionally abused child underneath does not excuse everything he ever does. It may make most, if not all of it, understandable — but understandable does not mean certain behaviours should not lead to punishment. Henry needed acceptance and positive attention the most, but at the same time he did have a genuinely naughty and horrid nature that sometimes led to stunts that ANY child should be punished for.
Also, in my view there is no such thing as “positive punishment” in child rearing. What kids need is a well-balanced and fairly executed combination of positive reinforcement whenever they do something good and right, and negative punishment when they do or say something naughty or horrid — whilst the latter needs to be proportional to the offence. But Henry had none of that. So Henry’s parents are not shitty just because they’re emotionally abusive and neglectful, but also just generally because they have no idea how to be good parents in the first place at all.
The Parents and Peter’s Role
I also don’t believe they are purposefully programming Peter to think he can do no wrong whilst resenting Henry for existing.
My theory is: they started out wanting to be good and loving parents but not enough to really try and learn how. So by age three or four Henry had grown into a self-centred brat and instead of cleaning up their own act the parents became ashamed both of themselves and the horror they’d created. But being self-centred themselves too, they chose to blame Henry for the way he was, convinced themselves that Henry is inherently a bad seed, and then everything slipped into even worse emotional abuse and neglect instead of just simply lack of good parenting in general.
They saw a second chance in their new baby Peter but because they never did any self-reflection or soul-searching, they started messing up Peter too — but not in the golden-child way. Notice that Peter isn’t just happily enjoying preferential treatment and cruising through life with no worries at all. Instead, Peter is obsessively and desperately trying to be perfect and pointing his goodness out every chance he gets — especially to his parents — and it’s because since birth he’s witnessed what happens to Henry. By the time Peter was old enough to understand anything, Henry got yelled at and called horrid and punished in neglectful ways for every little thing. Or not punished at all for even big things. The unpredictability and inconsistency making everything so much worse.
So Peter does not think he can do no wrong — he desperately fears he might, and then end up like Henry in the parents’ eyes. Yes, he also fake-cries and whines about every little thing Henry does to him and generally comes off as a bit psychotic, but I believe that too sources from his desperate fear of ending up being treated like him or worse. So he makes sure the negative attention stays on Henry and his goodness be even more noticeable.
The brothers never got a chance to form a healthy, supportive brotherly bond because everything was already a disaster by the time Peter was born. So I don’t see Peter as genuinely the golden child, and I don’t see him as truly psychotic or evil either. He’s just a little boy trying to survive a highly toxic and dangerous environment where he has the least amount of power.
The “Good Morning” Moment
As a final note, I don’t think the mum actually meant to scold Henry and call him horrid for cheerfully wishing his brother good morning. I really don’t think they were that bad. It was likely just an accident because most mornings Henry does come downstairs being whiny as well as mean to his brother. So she said it automatically before registering that this time he was actually nice.
And I don’t think that confused Henry. By this point he likely had long since given up even trying to seek validation or praise from his parents, especially from his mum. He’d just automatically expect that to his mum nothing he ever says or does is good. But he would have known that being polite and nice like that is a good thing no matter what his mum said — because being wished good morning by his brother must have felt nice, and saying it cheerfully back did too. I don’t think that particular moment harmed or confused him.
Conclusion
It’s a naughty and horrid show no matter what point of view and lens you look at it. But also strangely entertaining. I’d say only suitable for adults who understand all the things wrong with it and just enjoy the silly or absurd parts. I would never let young kids watch this toxic and badly influencing show, and would hope that most adults watching do not think it’s portraying reasonable and good parenting exmples in any way. For me, the first two seasons are entertaining. From season 3 on it starts increasingly losing touch with its title and coming up with boring storylines too. I actually think the later seasons are worse because they made Henry a semi-responsibly child who just complains a lot but he STILL gets abused the same way he always did. At least so it seems from the few later season episodes I’ve watched.
This show is a mess. But not in as black-and-white manner as many people seem to view it be.
These are my thoughts. What do you think?