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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/whendoesitgetbetter5 on 2023-10-03 17:30:39.
My husband and I have been together for 10years (both 33) and we have two kids, 3&5. When my husband met me, I had 2 dogs who were my LIFE. In fact, dogs have pretty much always been my life and the first thing I did when I moved out of my parents house was get the dogs I had always dreamed of. My husband said one of the things that attracted him to me was my dogs.
I’ve worked in animal care for 15 years, most of that working with dogs. When my husband proposed, he even included in his proposal that he promised to love all the dogs and animals I could ever want because that’s WHO I AM. I also had reptiles and bunnies when he met me. At our wedding, every speech included comments about my love for animals, and especially my dogs.
Recently we lost my heart dog due to old age and my heart feels empty. We still have my female dog who is 12 but declining and she is not really a family dog. She likes to be alone. The kids and I feel ready to bring another companion into our lives, but my husband is saying he wants to wait possibly a few YEARS to get another dog. I don’t think I can do that! Having a dog companion is part of who I am, part of who I’ve always been. I feel that 6months after the passing of our boy should be sufficient.
Since we’ve been married, he has been against any animal I’ve wanted to bring into our home. It was a massive fight to get a bunny after I lost my last one, and equally as much of a fight to add a couple chickens to our back yard. I feel like he said those words to me back then and didn’t mean it, and I can’t control my need to live a life with lots of animals around me. He has not been understanding towards our dogs geriatric issues and needs as he never had a dog survive to old age in his home growing up. When I ask him why he doesn’t want another dog he just says he “just doesn’t and thinks we should take an extended break from dogs”.
So, WIBTA if I bring home a dog despite his wishes not to get another one?
** edit to clear up a couple things: We had five small chickens but after a fox attack only have 1, and it’s leaving in a few weeks to live at my friends actual farm. All we currently have for animals other than that one chicken is our one senior dog, and one house bunny who is clean, litter trained and behaves like a cat. Our senior dog is in no way being pushed aside. She is an odd ball who has always required special management and in no way would her life change with a new addition. She has an entire floor our house just for her to relax and escape the chaos of our home. She’s taken for a 3 mile run every day which tires her out and then she relaxes on the couch in the home office with my husband and hardly moves or makes a sound after that. She’s very comfortable and happy.