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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/thowrathiw on 2023-10-03 17:46:16.
Background info- My husband loves cooking. He goes all out for dinners and even his lazy meals can seem extravagant at times so our children have a mature palette. He especially loves when we has guest that when he goes all out for sure, he plans his meal in advance and get extremely excited.
My husband and I had a dinner with our friends and our kids. My husband made us arabic salad & garlic bread on the side with mashed potatoes and braised duck served with a sauce. When everyone came we had 3 parents and 7 children. My husband I served everyone food and everyone was complimenting it but my husband noticed one of my friend let call her Melissa child (6) not eating so he asked him if he didn’t like the food and he nodded his head no and Melissa chimed in and sayed he doesn’t have a mature palette and my husband said sorry, we have more mashed potatoes maybe he can eat it without the sauce Melissa said he doesn’t eat mash. My husband said that fine I can microwave or make him something quick. Melissa said Thankyou and told him frozen chicken nuggets would be good my husband said ooh we don’t eat frozen food but how about cereal , pp&j/ grilled cheese or leftover spaghetti bolognese and she said cereal.
Next thing that happened my husband served the ice cream and carrot cake. Mellisa other son(8) said this ice cream was soo good. My daughter (4) said me and my daddy made it we don’t eat the store brought crap. (This is my fault 🤦♀️ I was mocking my husband earlier asking him what he was making and he said ice cream and I said in a sacarastic way that we are to good for store brought crap huh. It was a force of habit, me and my husband thought that if we don’t point out we used a bad word our daughter would not notice and obviously we were wrong but am a 100% sure she didn’t say it with any bad intentions. ) and everyone laughed.
Now yesterday I received a call from Melissa saying she felt like me and my husband were looking down on her and mommy shaming her because we said we don’t eat frozen food. I was just about to apologize because I never want to make someone feel mommy shamed until this women said she feels sorry for my daughter because she can already see my snobbishness and self centeredness spreading to her because of that comment my daughter made about crap ice cream. And that where I draw a line. I told her to not mention my daughter name when wanting to address me and she shouldn’t worry about feeling inferior because she will never be invited to my home again.
Our friend decided to get involve and they keep saying that I should apologize because they don’t want to be left in the middle it and they feel like I was wrong because I should have known the food was too mature for a kids palette. I honestly Don’t care. I have friends outside of this friend group and honestly don’t mind cutting them off. I know this might be exaggerated reaction but am very sensitive about my daughter. and want to know if am overreacting.