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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/rushofgold on 2023-10-03 19:31:05.
I’m on vacation with my immediate family. I’m F/30 and my two brothers are in their late 30s. They’re both married and they each have kids (5 kids total ranging in age from 3-9 years old). My parents are also on the trip, and I am accompanied by my boyfriend of 2 years.
We’re here for a week and it’s been really fun so far. We have a mix of days where we have activities planned and then a few free days. My family has had a text thread going for months with all of the trip planning, so we knew which days were activity vs free days.
My boyfriend and I planned a romantic dinner for one of the free nights at a really nice restaurant on the island. We made a reservation months ago because it books up.
I was getting ready to go out and one of my sister in laws made a comment about me dressing up to stay in. I was confused and asked her to clarify.
She said that she, my brother, and my other married brother and his wife, were doing a couples spa evening experience that they booked a few days earlier and they needed me and my BF to watch all of their kids. She said my brother was supposed to have asked me earlier that day. He forgot to.
When I explained that my boyfriend and I already had plans, she was super unsympathetic. She said they already prepaid for the spa experience and since we hadn’t paid for the dinner yet, it wouldn’t make sense for them to have to cancel their plans.
I never agreed to watch their kids. I love my nieces and nephews, but my family knows I am childfree and have been for years. It’s been a point of contention for a long time. I wouldn’t mind watching them if I had been given advanced notice, but to have them slapped on me when I had plans with my BF made me really upset.
My sister in law said I didn’t understand how much she needed the time away from her kids because I don’t have kids of my own. She said I was being selfish and I could handle one night of “being a mom”.
It’s not the point. I would’ve agreed if she had asked me months ago before my BF and I made dinner plans. I checked and we wouldn’t be able to get another reservation before we leave.
My parents walked in on us arguing, and eventually they offered to watch the kids. They were supposed to go to a free concert on the beach together but decided to cancel so someone could stay with the kids. I felt really bad but my mom insisted.
Now it’s the next day and my sister in law won’t even look at me. I’m pissed at her too but we’re stuck here for a week so I don’t know what to do. My mom thinks I should apologize but I feel I’m the one owed the apology here.
AITA?
EDIT: forgot add - we are not staying in a resort/hotel that would have babysitting services, we’re staying in a family friend’s vacation house/rental property