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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/4toTwenty on 2023-10-03 00:17:12.
I (33f) have always known i don’t want children. I used to live with my ex best friend who had a toddler and that definitely reinforced it. My boyfriend is 37 and is also on the same page. We travel and go to concerts and have been very happy together for the last year. But this past week is fucking me up.
It happened once before when i was 28. I got baby fever and it went away a couple days later, I’m assuming when i finished ovulating. But this time, this time feels different.
It’s been 4 days and i can’t stop fantasising about being pregnant. I don’t want a baby. Or a toddler. Or a teenager. I don’t want to reproduce, but holy fuck do i want to be pregnant. I want to feel that life inside me. That purpose. That bump.
I have an appt at PP on Friday to make sure everything is copasetic. I have an IUD but I’m so scared i might already be pregnant and that’s why this feeling isn’t going away. I also have an appt with a therapist tomorrow.
But for now, how do i tell my biological clock to shut the fuck up and let me live my life? I’m not coping very well.