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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/LateOrchid6054 on 2023-10-02 23:12:00.
I (39F) have a son (20M) with my husband (50M). I married and moved to my husband’s country shortly before I had my son.
My marriage was not a happy one. I couldn’t leave becasue I would risk loosing custody of my son. When he was 18 I told my husband I wanted a divorce and moved out. My husband refuses to accept it and keeps dragging the divorce on.
Since leaving him my life has been better than it has ever been. I am exploring my bisexuality (I have been out since I was 20 but never explored it), making friends that aren’t his and just living my own life.
My son has been distant since I left my husband. At first he kept asking me to attend couples therapy with my husband, when I started dating he was mad and said I was “cheating.” I have spoken with him about this many times.
Tonight he came over late unannounced at around 22:30 wanting to talk about an issue with a friend. I had a female friend staying over. My friend got ready to leave so I could be with my son but he got angry and yelled at her for “breaking up a marriage”.
I stepped in and firmly told my son I have been separated from his father for 2 years and am divorcing him. He kept getting more angry saying I was “betraying him”. I finally had enough and told him if he can’t accept me he can leave. He left and my husband is calling my phone yelling at me that I’m a horrible mother.
AITA? I have been trying to talk to him about this for 2 years to no avail.
Edit: My son doesn’t want therapy with him or the two of us. In the beginning we did family therapy which I thought would help us move forward. It was just the two of them trying to make me feel guilty for leaving and asking me to give my husband another chance. The therapist put a stop to it and we didn’t go back.
I didn’t start dating until a year after separating from my husband. When I started dating I let my son know that’s what I was doing.