This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/princess_o_darkness on 2023-10-02 09:26:23.
Sorry in advance, it’s a long one. Just trying to process how my son, who is not even 3, is already keeping me on my toes with regards to gender.
We have tried to be neutral parents from the start, not overly pushing one way or another. Simply keeping toys interesting and colours as bright as possible and not sticking to one “aisle” or another.
Even with that, he definitely gravitated very early on towards trucks, machines, dinosaurs. He plays “rescue man” and “fix it man” and charges around with sticks as swords. All very much the stereotypical boy. We are of course happy to encourage whatever makes him happy and I love seeing him run around roaring like the little gremlin that he is.
Two constant exceptions where pink and sparkles enter our lives have been Gabby’s Dollhouse and My Little Pony (friendship is magic). He picks them out all the time and loves them both.
But yesterday he came running to me with “mommy mommy I need help!” He was watching my little pony and he pointed to the TV saying “I need to watch something else!” in a panicked way. I thought maybe something scary had happened in the episode so I asked him why, and he answered “it’s all ladies!” I asked him what was wrong with that and he frowned and said “it’s all ladies…that’s…not good!” I replied that there’s nothing wrong with being all ladies but he still seemed worried until I also pointed out that one of the ponies was a man. He appeared to relax after that and watched the rest of the show with no issue.
He was barely two and he corrected me when I said “police lady” and he said “no, police man” I told him ladies can be police but he didn’t believe me, saying “ladies can’t wear police hats”(?!?) until I pulled up loads of pictures online of women in police uniforms (and hats).
Multiple times I have had to correct him when he says there are no “fix it women” - fair enough, our house is under constant construction and so far we haven’t had any women on the crews coming in and out. BUT I do ALL the DIY around the house (my husband does ALL the cooking), so he’s seen me regularly with power tools and I’ve fixed plenty of things with him.
I see all these news stories about young boys becoming hooked on Andrew Tate etc and always thought somewhat smugly that’s no way going to happen to my boy. But then I hear “ladies are not good” and it strikes a little stab of fear in my heart for this sweet, innocent, funny, bright boy entering such a polarised world.
Anyone else relate? Any advice for fostering healthy gender perspectives now and in future?