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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/FionaLawrence365 on 2023-10-02 00:41:23.
I (44f) am married to my husband (45m). I love him dearly, and we’ve had a great relationship, with very few arguments or fights. He has a kid (15NB) from a different relationship who I love as my own child. I have lost my uncle, father, grandma, sister, and my child. I have a memorial piece for each of them, but for my child (20 when he died) I have a full sleeve full of his favorite things, his name, bday, and death date. It takes up my shoulder down to my wrist, and has very little room. Its filled with birds as he loved birds, chess pieces (the focal point is a full black king with his name, bday, and death date near it as he was a king before he passed) and a lot of other things he loved. It was heartbreaking for me, and with this tattoo its kind of like he’s still here with me, and he never knew his step-sister as he died before they met. Hubby and I were still in the dating stage by then, not serious yet.
Anyhow, I have a few smaller tats other than my memorial pieces, but they’re very tiny. I do have room on my body for more. My husband asked me if I’d get his kid’s name tatted on my sons memorial piece. I told him no. He asked if I’d consider getting it somewhere else. Again, I told him no. He asked why, and i told him that I don’t tattoo names for people who aren’t dead, or are not close family. He accused me of not loving my stepchild. I told him I did, but its not the same and I don’t want to ruin my sons memorial piece. He then said “Oh come on. You don’t want kids and have tattooed yourself for other men, so the least you can do is get a tat for me and my child.”
My jaw DROPPED. I told him smt like “My uncle is my bio family, and was very close to me growing up and you know that. I’m not branding myself for you. The reason why I don’t want anymore kids is b/c I lost one to schizophrenia. It has a genetic component and i had other family members with it so ik its me. I can’t watch another kid suffer. And also, we’re too old at this point.”
My step-kid barged into the room at this point and told their father to stop. He told them to stop defending me, and to defend him. My step-kid said “It’s mom’s body and no one else’s! That’s such a shallow and low move of you to bring up her family! Just stop!” and then turned to me, took my hands in theirs and said “Mama please, don’t do anything with your body you don’t want too. I’m so sorry.” and then hugged me. I gotta admit I cried at that and gave them a hug as my husband stormed out screaming, calling me all sorts of vile names for “branding myself for another man” and all sorts of vile shit.
AITA?