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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No_Yesterday5630 on 2023-10-01 15:59:02.

My (F24) brother (32) and his wife were told early in their second pregnancy that the baby wasn’t developing properly and would be severely disabled.

My sister-in-law was heartbroken but she wanted to terminate. My brother spent a long time convincing her that the baby was God’s will. I told him that he needed to consider how much work was involved in taking care of a baby with so many special needs. My boyfriend is a pediatric nurse. He tells me horror stories. I said his wife was right. He said I was a terrible sister and aunt for saying those things. He got our parents involved and they told me to mind my own business. So the baby went to term. And she was born with deformations and disabilities.

Sorry if I do not go further than that.

My brother was home for two weeks then he went back to work. My sister-in-law was basically responsible for that poor baby girl for the next six months. Plus my five year old nephew. She couldn’t take it and she took their son and moved to her parents’ house.

My brother has been trying to get her to come home but she won’t. My parents both work so they cannot help as much as they would like.

He asked me for help and it took everything I had not to say that it was God’s will that he take care of his daughter since he wanted her to be born so badly.

Instead I just said that I couldn’t because I couldn’t watch her and go to school. He said that the help he was getting from the government and family was not enough and that he was going to lose his job. I apologized but I said I could not sacrifice my future for his decisions.

He tried getting my parents to convince me but I told them that I had been informed by them that I should “stay out of it”. And I was choosing to do so as I had done so previously.

My mom is having to take time off to help him and it is draining her.

I had lunch with my sister-in-law yesterday and I asked her when she was going home. She said she wasn’t sure she could handle that yet. I did not push.

My family thinks I am being an asshole by putting my studies, which I pay for myself, are more important than my brother’s job and marriage.

I don’t think I should sacrifice for someone who chose the life he got.