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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/PitchOutside1615 on 2023-10-01 11:27:45.
My mom died when I (16M) was 7. My parents had been separated for a long time and dad was dating my stepmom when my mom passed. I didn’t meet her until after mom’s death. When I met her she introduced herself to me as the woman who was going to be my new mom and she told me she was committed to being an equal parent to me. I didn’t like this, even then, it rubbed me the wrong way and I said to my dad that I didn’t like her and when he asked me why, I said in a way a 7 year old would that I didn’t want her to be my new mom and it made me sad and mad when she said that. My dad told me it could be good and to give her a chance to be that. He told me she had been looking forward to meeting me and had been preparing to be a good mom to me.
Twoish years later my stepmom and dad were married and she started posting online about being a stepmom who was mom and how we had an instant mom/son connection to each other. Over the years she painted a picture that was nothing like reality. She made up a story of the first time I called her mom. I have never called her mom so it’s a total lie and not just a twisting of how it happened. She told stories about times we spent together where I said I was glad to have her and that she couldn’t be a better mom. I learned about it like 3 years ago. A friend sent it to me because her mom had seen it. The whole thing was crazy and what’s worse was she was telling people things about me that I didn’t want brought up to people online.
I told her it was a dumb thing to do back the and she told me it hurt her feelings that I was so negative about something so amazing. About four months ago my stepmom said we needed therapy together and that she didn’t feel loved by me. Therapy has been an interesting experience and the therapist was alarmed to hear that my stepmom has been telling so many elaborate lies for a long time now. She suggested shutting down the page but my stepmom was like no.
While we have been going to therapy someone who follows my stepmom found me online and reached out and asked me about things. I was honest. That my stepmom had lied about the whole thing and she’s not my second mom and I have never called her mom or told her I love her just as much as I love my mom. A couple more people reached out after that and I told them the same.
This was brought up in therapy because my stepmom was upset that people were now calling her out and saying she was a fraud. Some of her advice was tried out by these people and they had bad results and they thought they had followed the advice badly or something. She said in therapy she felt like I told those people what I did to hurt her and she didn’t feel that it was fair. I told her I was never going to lie for her and anyone who knows us knows she is not my mom and that I would never call her that.
The therapist told my stepmom it was on her, they were her lies. But my stepmom, and my dad, both say I was intentionally hurtful to her. AITA?