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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/cmdvd on 2023-10-01 02:56:24.
I (35 F) am pregnant and expecting a boy in December. I’m not American but my mom is coming and staying with my husband (35M) and I for two months to help cook and clean while I take care of my baby. My husband works nights and three times a week he works till noon, so I already know I’ll be taking the night shift every night with the baby and he won’t be able to help me in those days before the afternoon. I’m having a c-section and would like the first 3 to 4 weeks to go by without visitors so I can heal properly and take care of the newborn while my mom helps me with the house. I’m also concerned with his immune system during that time and wanted to wait for him to get at least some of his vaccines. My husband told my in-laws they can see the baby at the hospital when he’s born but after that we’d go for 3 to 4 weeks without any visitors, them included. His mom’s jaw dropped and they said they couldn’t believe they weren’t going to be allowed to see the baby during that time. Now my husband is asking me why they can’t see the baby during those weeks and if I have a problem with his parents. It’s true, I don’t have a good relationship with his parents but ultimately I didn’t want visitors since I’ll still be healing from the surgery and taking care of the baby while also teaching online part-time - I’m self employed so I don’t get maternity leave. I know they’re also upset that my mother will be here for two months while they can’t see the baby for 3 weeks, however, they never offered to cook, clean, nor do groceries for us. They keep saying the want “to see the baby”. My MIL even went as far as to say we can bring the baby to her house whenever we wish. When my husband pointed out we won’t be driving a newborn anywhere (they live 30 minutes away) she said she was reluctant to come by because my husband doesn’t like it when she drops by unannounced. So, AITA?