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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/MayhemBabies on 2023-09-30 05:35:26.
My (F28) brother (M30) has always been a bit “my way or the highway”. He also loves to tell you that he told you so if you dare to do something differently to his suggestion and it goes the wrong way. My brother’s wife, Cindy (F29), is honestly an angel of a person, and her patience is never ending. I genuinely believe that their marriage is held together by her patience, because I would have had it with my brother a long time ago. They were married five years ago, and Cindy gave birth to a beautiful baby boy a month ago.
During the pregnancy, whenever I would ask about names, Cindy always said that they had not been able to agree on anything yet. During these conversations, my brother would say, “Well, we all know what I think we should name the baby, and it is up to Cindy to come up with something better if she doesn’t like it.” Cindy would always laugh when my brother said this and would say something about finding something they both agreed on, but it certainly seemed like my brother had made up his mind. For reference, the name my brother was adamant about was Joseph, which Cindy really disliked.
By the time Cindy went into labour, her and my brother had a short list of three names which Cindy said they would choose from once they had met the baby and seen his face. Joseph was not on the list. Unfortunately, there were some complications during the birth and Cindy had to be rushed to emergency surgery while my brother dealt with all the paperwork. I am sure you can see where this is going - he put Joseph on the birth certificate while Cindy was unconscious.
It seems that this was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and Cindy has filed for divorce. My brother is suddenly crying to the world and their dog that his wife’s pregnancy and post-partum hormones have gotten the better of her, and she is throwing away their lives over a temper tantrum. He also said that she would come to realise Joseph is a good/strong name. I admit, it was probably not my finest moment, but I have been telling my brother for years that Cindy’s patience would come to an end, and so I said that I had told him so.
I also told him that I will do anything and everything I can to support Cindy through this, and that if he is looking for someone to blame, it is 100% on him and his “my way or the highway” personality. I said that no reasonable or kind person would have used their wife being unconscious as an opportunity to get their own way.
Now my family are telling me I used this as an opportunity to be vindictive rather than supportive, and I can’t possibly understand what divorce is like. My mom (F58) told me that I have clearly been holding a grudge against my brother and couldn’t wait to rub his face in something. She has said that I am not invited to any family events until I apologise to my brother and promise to support him in the divorce over Cindy.