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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/IndividualSource7810 on 2023-09-30 02:48:26.
I had a one-night stand with a woman (Mary) I didn’t know at a party in 2016. About a year ago someone reached out and told me she knew Mary and her (now 6yo) son was mine. This person hadn’t known my name until meeting another friend of mine and they figured it out. Apparently Mary had started dating someone (Jon) just after we hooked up, then found out she was pregnant. Mary and Jon got serious, got married, and Jon adopted my son.
After I found out, I got a lawyer and filed for custody in my state. Mary and Jon fought me through the whole process, telling me not to break up their family (they have a younger daughter). After lots of legal fees, I finally forced a paternity test and got every other weekend. My intent is to keep pushing until I have 50/50 custody. I looked into reversing the adoption but it is basically impossible, so I’ll probably have to wait until my son is 18 and then do it with his consent.
I have been having my son over for the past few months and it’s been great. He gets along great with my GF too. He understands that I’m his father but of course he calls Jon dad. I’m not trying to get him to stop that because I don’t want to confuse him or make him uneasy, but last weekend I did tell him that he can call me dad too instead of Mr. Lastname like his mom told him too. He seemed fine with it and called me dad while he was with me.
His mom found out and has been pestering me all week, saying I’m a sperm donor and Jon is his real dad and she’ll take me to court for parental alienation. The last thing she said was that I can be an uncle but my son only has one dad.
I’m ignoring most of what she said, but I am wondering if AITA for asking my son to call me dad in this situation.
EDIT: some people are asking how I could gain parental rights adoption. It is possible because I did not consent to the adoption and Mary claimed she did not know the father. The birth certificate was blank for father. Jon decided to adopt when my son was 1 year old and he got married to Mary.