This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Phenomenamenax on 2023-09-27 23:37:25.
We matched on Bumble last week, Wednesday, and started chatting. Thursday, we continued to chat on the app. He said a 7-year relationship ended about 7 months ago, when he discovered his gf was cheating on him. He explained he was very new to online dating and would say things like “this is my 6th day on the app” “this is a strange way to meet”. In the interest of transparency, I told him that I had recently been laid off for my company in case that mattered to him. He called me right away when he saw that message and said he wanted to hear my voice, and said he wanted to meet me.
We met on a date, last Friday. We met at the park and he drove us to nice breakfast place for breakfast. One of the first things I noticed was he looked like he was trembling, like he was nervous, but later he seemed to relax. In the course of the conversation, the topic of his family’s business came up and I he tells me that it’s the longest standing erotic novelties store in our city. They have 2 stores, and one of their stores is like 3 blocks from my house and I see it all the time. At one point in our next dates we were driving to his store, I pointed to him my house when we passed by (which I realize was a mistake later on)
We’ve been to 3 dates, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. In the 3 dates, texts and phone calls we’ve had, he seems to have developed an intense adoration for me. Intense is putting it mildly. It’s like nothing I’ve experienced before. To the point that it seems uncomfortable. Everything is happening too fast. During Saturday’s date, he was holding my hand all the time, and saying things like “I’m excited to know you deeper”, “I’ve never felt this strongly so fast before”., “I miss you”, “”I’m so lucky to have met you”, etc. On our date last Sunday, he already talked about moving in with me. He already wants to meet my son, he already wants me to meet his sister and mother. He seems to be already imagining our life together. It hasn’t even been a week, so this freaked me out.
Everything seems to be moving so fast and so intensely. He comes across as being wealthy, in terms of the cars that he drives and the house that he lives in, based from the background check that I did on him so I don’t think he was trying to take advantage of me financially especially since I told him I’m unemployed right now. I told him I can’t meet him for the rest of this week as I will be busy with the job hunting and certification I am taking up so we didn’t see each other since Monday.
Last night, we had this phone call. There were instances we he talked very slow, almost poetic… it almost sounds like he’s in a trance, that I have a hard time following his thoughts… for some reason, this creeped me out. So, I told him that I’m not in a good headspace to date and maybe we should slow down. He was relentless at trying to convince me “there is this man that’s always here for you” it was almost 2 hours of talking of just trying to talk me out of my decision to give each other some space. I tried to turn him off by telling him I am not mentally well, that I would sabotage this relationship and I am stubborn. He told me he can calm me down. I told him I cannot be controlled or calmed down and I am mean. Just to turn him off.
After the call, he started sending me random pics of his cars, where he is in his house. It’s as if to show off his wealth, that he’s a catch. He would not give up no matter how much I try to push him away. He left me a voicemail at 3 am asking me to call him in the morning and we’ll have breakfast. When I didn’t call this morning, he rang my doorbell! I didn’t answer the door and I sent him a message that he’s scaring me. He apologized and he said he was just there to bring me and my son breakfast, he left it and drove away (I can see him from my ring doorbell).
I have never experienced this level of intensity of adoration from anyone before. It doesn’t seem normal, but then, he doesn’t seem to be like an ordinary guy. I told him he should continue searching for the woman of his dreams and not to contact me anymore. He sent a response, quote: “i honestly can’t believe i caused you to have these sorts of deep feelings. it of course was not my intention. i easily thought we shared an amazing connection [my name]. i truly respect your thoughts. and i won’t contact you after this text.”
Do his actions seem like from someone with a narcissistic personality disorder, or am I just reading him wrong?
/Edit: as some people have pointed out, this may not necessarily be an indication of NPD, but potentially signs of abuser. I wanted to mention this to reconsider the question.