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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/seccosdumpster on 2023-09-27 14:14:49.

I moved to a new house recently and made the mistake of being polite to my neighbors. I would think I would have learned my lesson after the 90 other times old men harassed me, but unfortunately I thought better of his waving and politeness and shrugged it off. The fact that I didn’t immediately tell him to kill himself upon first glance made him feel like he was in a Hallmark movie.

The situation escalated when my sibling traveled abroad for a month, with gradually increasing incidences of bullshit like:

  • My neighbor stopping me every time I walk to and from my home, which became a nuisance as I go home for lunch and dinner
  • Constantly demanding that I get food with him or go to the store with him and asking if I think he’s a creep if I said no
  • Very obviously following me with his car and “happening to run into me” and demanding to give me a ride
  • Insisting that the 0.2 mile walk to my workplace is unsafe and that he should drive me
  • Questioning me whenever a friend pulls into my driveway or I accept a ride from other people – it’s almost like they’re the same age as me!
  • Removing packages and grocery deliveries even though i was sitting and waiting for them so that he could force me to go to his house and talk to him
  • Leaves unwanted items, typically clothing but including a rose bear, a heart-shaped jewelry holder, and a bag of underwear
  • Admitted that he has watched me walk by through the windows (for months now) because he’s amazed such a beautiful woman lives here
  • Oh, and not an incident, but I’m 20 and he’s OVER 60!!!

I never wanted any association with him due to past abuse but he took advantage of my politeness to achieve total consent: a “no, no, no, NO, fine.” I finally snapped after I relented to going to the grocery store with him, came home to be told “thanks for the date”, and received a bag of fancy underwear and the other items along with clothing later that night. I’ve adjusted my route to sneak through an adjoining complex but I’ve generally avoided leaving the house. He’s knocked several times a day and attempted to use the doorknob each time on both doors.

That brings me to tonight. I’ve avoided him for about 10 days. I was generally content to leave the lights off and live in the dark. I didn’t brief my sibling on this and they immediately turned lights on and powered on noisy appliances after I snuck them back home. Right afterward, a car parks in my driveway and loud scuffling noises go on for a while outside. He beats on the door and attempts to open it several times, aggressively rattling the doorknob.

I wasn’t interested in calling the police but my sibling immediately reacted by calling. I was uneasy about being sighted, so I hid while they handled the police report. He left furniture and clothing on the porch and attempted to enter – AT 10PM!! In a few hours now, a police officer will drive by the neighbor’s house and deliver a No Trespass order. I’m considering converting an old smartphone into a camera since I’m uncertain about whether he’ll comply. I’m sitting in the bathtub now because I’m not visible from windows. Not sure if he owns guns. LOL so fun.

Honestly, I don’t know if I need any advice. I had spoken about this situation on a throwaway a while back and the advice I was given motivated me to nip this situation in the bud. I think he’s so demanding about helping me because he wants to use it as a tool to guilt me into future interactions – and it worked for a while! But I’m honestly traumatized by previous situations with old men and I don’t want to even be “friends”.

PLEASE trust your gut, though. I let this shit get way too far and I’m probably going to have a lot of issues with my other neighbors as a result. He thinks he’s entitled to me now, and I can’t help but wonder if this would be happening if I ignored the innocuous waves and chitchat to begin with. Please trust your gut. You don’t owe anyone anything.

One question actually – is this the kind of thing travel needs to be cancelled over?? I have a weeklong trip in about 10 days. I’m going to have a petsitter come to and from my house through the backyard – same discreet route I’ve been using. I’m starting to wonder if I’ll come home and find an ajar door and a bunch of decapitated pets with the way this guy is acting, though – not to mention the danger to my petsitter… I’m sick with anxiety about that. IDK what to do about that. I have some dowels I’m going to cut to secure my windows, but…